A systematic approach to gaining self-confidence through actionable steps.
Have you ever felt like a failure? Many of us are familiar with that sentiment.
It often appears as though everyone around us is creating billion-dollar projects, becoming YouTube stars, or finding success on Instagram*. Deep down, we understand that such outcomes are rare for the majority of people. However, when we see all these seemingly fortunate individuals, we tend to lose sight of reality.
Whether your aspirations involve money, fame, travel, or none of the above, it all boils down to self-confidence. Do you possess enough confidence to cast aside societal pressures and pursue your deepest desires? Alternatively, are you self-assured enough to declare, “To hell with all this nonsense, I am content with who I am”?
Self-confidence is crucial for anyone seeking personal fulfillment. Whatever your aspirations may be, a lack of self-confidence will hinder your ability to achieve them.
Studies have shown that self-doubt leads to depression, loneliness, underachievement in academics, and overall dissatisfaction with life.
After years of studying this phenomenon, I have found that one prevailing theory highlights the connection between confidence and competence.
In 1952, the journal Educational Leadership published an article titled “Self-confidence for Competence” by Bernice Milburne Moore. Although the author primarily discusses the role of self-confidence in a teacher’s career, the essence of this article holds relevance across various fields.
The definitions of self-confidence you may encounter are fairly consistent. Moore interprets this concept as a readiness to face any situation with self-assurance. Importantly, she adds the following insight:
“Self-confidence without competence is as meaningless as competence without self-confidence.”
In other words, acquiring competence through education or training is insufficient on its own. True self-confidence is derived from actively utilizing that competence in real-world situations. These two qualities must complement each other to be truly valuable.
This principle works in both directions. Self-confidence without competence is hollow; mere words cannot create a solid business plan. While it is essential to boldly express your opinions, it is equally important to possess the knowledge to support those opinions.
Building Self-Confidence The process of developing self-confidence is based on the improvement of your competencies and the subsequent results you achieve. This pattern is confirmed through experience.
To apply this rule, follow the simple steps outlined below. However, be aware that it requires hard work and dedication.
- Enhance your competencies.
- Put them into practice.
- Analyze the results.
- Grow more confident.
- Repeat the process.
But what if I don’t see immediate results? Moreover, I don’t have time to practice.
If you are searching for excuses, it is within your right to do so. After all, it is your life. However, this method of increasing self-confidence is grounded in tangible actions and not wishful thinking. Confidence does not magically appear on its own.
You can repeat affirmations of self-confidence or convince yourself that you are content with your life, but without taking action and producing tangible results, you will never truly believe in yourself.
This is where many self-improvement theories fall short. Positive thinking, self-suggestion, and goal-setting are all valuable, but they hold no weight without real actions.
How can you gain self-confidence without doing anything? It is impossible.
“Nothing increases self-confidence and self-esteem more than success.”
- Thomas Carlyle, British writer, and philosopher
Which competencies should you improve? The answer to this question depends on your specific goals. However, there are skills that can benefit everyone:
- Emotional intelligence: Research has shown that humans are social beings, and strong relationships are crucial for our well-being. To maintain strong connections with others, it is essential to develop high emotional intelligence – the ability to understand others’ emotions and respond effectively. This skill can be learned.
- Self-awareness: Foster self-awareness by regularly analyzing your thoughts and actions. Journal important insights, strive to understand your motivations, and identify areas for improvement as well as your existing strengths. Study yourself.
- Decision-making skills: The modern education system was established during the industrial revolution, training individuals to be cogs in a machine. We were not taught how to solve problems in challenging situations; instead, we were instructed to follow orders. However, the world has changed since then. In today’s world, those who make sound decisions are the ones who succeed.
Do not fall into the misconception that merely wanting a better life is enough. As you begin to work towards your goals and witness tangible results, such as a stronger body, increased energy, or financial gains, you will gain true belief in yourself.
So, get started, make progress, evaluate the outcomes, repeat the process, and watch your self-confidence flourish.